Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Waiting

Words swirl inside my head, purculating until I'm ready to let them out.  So many thoughts, so many different things that I need to get out.  I'm not sure where to start or where to end. 

My heart is anxious.

I'm not sure exactly when I pegged that down, but I think on my way to visit my far-away friends I realized that I'm in a constant state of wondering. Adoption. Teaching. Being active. Productivity.

Nothing has ever gone quite as I have planned it in the last few years and this year is no exception.

School is starting in 2 weeks and I don't think I'm teaching full time (and yes I realize that it is absured that I have to say 'think'.  It's the end of August but I actually don't know).  But the option is always there. The desire to be a teacher is strong - I LOVE kids and I LOVE teaching - but the rational part of me knows that I can't do that full time. 

I think just to have the option there is what is bugging me the most.  I could teach if I wanted to. There is no little one at home to stop me from doing that.

We are waiting, waiting, waiting on the adoption front.  Mike is calm as a cucumber. Me not so much some days.  We're waiting on a meeting with our current agency before stepping out to other agencies and putting our profile in more places.  It should be in the next month or two, but I haven't heard a date yet, so I don't really know.  And y'all know how good I am at waiting :)

Anyway. 

We spent a wonderful week at the cottage last week. We had a really good-for-my-heart sermon about baptism on Sunday.  I'm cleaning my house like a mad women.  More on all that to come.

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