Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Inside, outside

I get asked a lot about how the adoption is going and how we're feeling about all of this.  I love that people are interested and so very supportive. 

I'm feeling such a mix of emotions these days. Thoughts swirl inside my head and I'm not really sure where they all land. 

Right now, we are:

 - Ready!  Our homestudy is done, our application is in at the agency, I dropped off our profile book and now we sit and wait. Right now we are waiting on a meeting with the director of the agency where we will hopefully be able to ask questions about the wait and how busy they are with adoptions right now.

 - Anxious! I must admit to worry.  I'm the type of person that has everything planned long before things happen.  I can't do that here.  The adoption details determine a lot of the things that we need to do.  Buy a crib? Carseat?  What kind - one for an infant or for a toddler?  Paint the room, or wait so we don't have that reminder every day of having empty arms?  I feel so thoroughly unprepared for all things baby and I don't like that feeling.

 - Amazed! We bought a stroller at a garage sale over the weekend.  I feel such a sense of awe that this is happening.  We could be having a child!  Someone to use the stroller. That in itself is such a sense of amazement.  The last 5+ years have been leading to that, and its finally at least a possibility.

 - Excited!  We have no idea what God has in store for us, but we are excited that He's lead us to this point in our lives, to this next step.

 - Hopeful!  I think, finally, we are allowing ourselves to hope that this will actually happen, and the desires of our hearts will be filled. We're not sure what that looks like yet, but we are hopeful that it will be good, even better then we would have ever imagined!

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement!  Thank you for walking alongside of us on this journey!


  1. Thanks for sharing your excitement and anxiety so openly! It gives me a better picture of what you must be going through, and helps me bring it to our heavenly Father who leads and guides all things according to His perfect will. Thinking and praying for you that your heart's desire may be filled!

  2. Oh yes, I know all of those feelings well! A stroller was our first purchase too. I'm so excited to see where the Lord will lead you guys! One thing I did that took away some of the desire to prepare-but-no-idea-how to was to make a few handmade kid/ baby toys. It made me feel like I was at least doing SOMETHING. ;-)